Here Is How To Manage A Toddler Stalling Bedtime Without Fighting And Stress
Bedtime is approaching. Well, at least we thought so because it seems that our toddlers have other plans.
As soon as bedtime is near, my children turn into motivational speakers.
There is so much to do, so much to explore! I mean, look at that plant, look how fast it is growing right in front of our eyes.
I can tell you, we had phases where my children tried everything in their power to stay up just a little bit longer. You name any stalling tactic, they tried it.
They are hungry. They need another sip of water. Another kiss, another endless hug that ends with them moaning on the floor. They need to tell you just one last thing for the millionth time.
Bedtime can become a real struggle for parents when their little one is stalling EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. I mean, parenting during the day is already tough, but keeping your last drop of patience at the end of the day that's the real challenge.
With my first one, there was still much to learn for me when it came to bedtime struggles. Well, my second one is not that lucky because I have some really good tricks up my sleeve, and I am no longer falling for their bedtime stalling tactics.
Over the years, I have created a step-by-step method for a smooth bedtime which helps me to prevent any stalling tactics.
1. Allow Them To Wrap Up Their Last Play
The worst thing you can do is interrupt a playing child. For us, it doesn't feel like a big deal. But for them, I can tell you it feels like you prevented them from saving the world.
Announce that after they are done playing, everyone will get ready for bed. If you find the time, you can sit down with them and lead the play to a happy end. I know that evenings can sometimes be stressful, but sitting down with your child can actually help wrap up playing much faster.
2. Wind Down Properly
I know you have heard it a million times, and you will probably hear it another million times more, but a bedtime routine is a must for children. Your child needs to wind down from all the excitement and adventures of the day.
For young children, a bedtime routine will look a little bit different. They need a more extensive routine and much more attention than a young baby. So don't skip it, and don't rush it. When a toddler notices you are rushing, they will no longer cooperate.
So make sure you have a proper lengthy bedtime routine. Already dim the lights in the evening and keep a quiet atmosphere. This will help with melatonin production, which is necessary for a good night's sleep.
3. Offer One Last Snack And Drink
I always offer toddlers one last snack and drink before we start to get ready for bed. Usually, a banana or any other food ideally also promotes sleep. They also like to have a glass of oat milk.
I always announce that it's the last snack of the day (yes, you will have to announce until the end of time). Of course, when my children get thirsty, for example, after brushing their teeth, they can drink water. But when I sense they are trying to stall, I friendly remind them that there are no more drinks.
4. Be Present With Your Child During The Bedtime Routine
Having a bedtime routine is not only about getting your kids ready for bed. It is an important time to bond with them. The more time you spend with your children before bedtime, the easier they can part from you at bedtime.
So when you are getting your kid ready for bed, stay with them while they put on their pajamas and brush their teeth. When you tell your kid to get dressed and do this and that while you go in and out of the room, they are not going to do it.
So instead, stay with them, help them, engage with them, and talk with them. You are not only connecting, but you are also not giving your kid the opportunity to stall.
5. Let Them Know How Boring It Is After Their Bedtime
Children have a hard time going to bed because they have a fear of missing out. Especially when they know that you are not going to bed.
But now, let's be honest. I mean, I don't know about you, but my evenings are hell as boring, and I love it.
Reassure your kids that nothing fun is going on after they go to bed. Honestly, even thinking that my children might assume we are going to party once they sleep makes me chuckle. But hey, they don't know how tiring they can be.
6. Be Firm And Set Logical Consequences
I don't like to reward my kids for good behavior. I know that some parents like to use sticker charts or similar things as a reward, but that's just not for me. Research shows that children often stop good behavior when their reward stops as well. If this works for you, you can obviously do it. It is just something we don't do in our family.
But I am always very clear and firm on boundaries and consequences. For example, my children are always allowed to read two books at bedtime, and when everything takes too long because of their stalling, I tell them there will not be enough time to read two books. And yes, there were times when we only read one book, and there were tears, but I always try to stay firm and keep what I said.
On the other hand, I also tell my kids that we can read an extra story when they get ready quickly. Sometimes I surprise them with an extra bedtime story because getting ready went really smooth. But I always explain it with the usage of time.
7. Be A Little Bit Flexible
Sometimes I like to remind my husband that we are dealing with actual humans and not robots. He can be very rigid at times, but children don't work that way.
It's ok to be a little bit flexible with your kids. For example, you can allow another quiet play. You can allow them to bring one toy into bed. Not everything has to be exactly on schedule. Try out what works for your kid.
8. Once They Are In Bed, Keep Communication To A Minumum
When your little one is finally in bed, you should always keep communication to a minimum. Because if you let children talk, oh, they will talk.
Don't ignore them, that would be rude. But keep answers short and remind them that now it's time to sleep.
If your child sleeps alone and constantly gets out of bed, lead them back to bed without making a big deal. Take their hand and remind them that it's time to sleep. Don't engage in additional conversation. Be kind but firm.
Some Other Notes
If your kid takes a very long time to fall asleep, you might need to check your schedule. Make sure that they are really tired enough to go to sleep. There is nothing more frustrating than lying in bed and not being able to sleep. And that goes for adults and children.
Also, ensure that your child doesn't stall bedtime out of a new fear they have developed. Science shows that children until the age of 7 can have trouble differentiating between fact and fiction. While I, as a parent, know very well that monsters are not real, they can feel very real for your kid. If your notice that your child is afraid of going to bed, stay with them while they are asleep and ensure them that you are always there for them.
And finally, remember that you should not obsess about bedtime. The more you stress about bedtime, the worse your bedtime battle will get.
