Why waking your baby from a nap is totally ok and how it can improve nighttime sleep
"Never ever wake a sleeping baby."
My mom would always say that to me. Whenever I was about to wake any of my babies from a nap, she would give me this look. "That's so mean. Let them sleep, those little cuties."
I mean, she was not wrong. They were dang cute when sleeping. But when they stayed up until 10 PM or woke up for 2 hours to party in the crib in the middle of the night, nope, that wasn't cute at all. But you know, my mom wouldn't know because she was sleeping in her bed.
Both my kids had lower sleep needs. So very soon, I realized that if they slept too long during the day, we either had a late bedtime because they just couldn't fall asleep, or they would wake really early in the morning.
I have tried letting my children sleep, but in the end, I realized I'd rather have my regular early bedtime than a longer midday break. So I started to wake my children from their naps.
For example, I would always keep the afternoon nap very short because the wake window before bedtime is very crucial. It was always more of a power nap of 15-20 minutes. But it was the perfect amount of sleep for my babies.
In the end, you will always decide what works best for you and your little one. You will just know it. Some babies are grumpy when you wake them. And sometimes parents would rather have a longer break during the day and then have bedtime rather late. All that is fine.
But there might also be certain situations where it makes sense to wake a sleeping child. For example, if you are regularly experiencing night disruptions that may have something to do with the amount of daytime sleep your child is getting, consider cutting daytime sleep short. It's not mean, and it's nothing you have to feel guilty about.
5 Reasons to Wake Your Baby From Their Nap
They compensate for lost nighttime sleep during naptime
Baby sleep is never linear. One night they will sleep well, another they won't. Maybe it's teething, maybe they were overtired, maybe it is a sleep regression. And maybe we will never know what it is. Either way, bad nights are normal.
And in such cases, we absolutely want our little one to catch up on lost sleep during the day.
But sometimes, catching up on sleep during the day can become a regular thing. Now, I am not talking about a day or two. I am talking about behavior you see consecutively for several days or more than a week.
Then they might have developed a new sleep pattern of sleeping more during the day and less at night. You might experience new sleep habits such as early wakings, late bedtime, or increasing night wakings.
This won't harm your baby. It is more important how many hours they sleep in 24 hours overall, than when they sleep. But reducing nap time during the day can improve night sleep. A nap schedule can also help you gain back more control about the overall daytime sleep your little one is having.
In this case, it makes sense to reduce the lengths of the naps. You can do this slowly by cutting naps short every couple of days by 5-10 minutes.
They have trouble falling asleep in the evening or have a later bedtime
When sleep pressure is too low in the evening, children will sometimes have trouble falling asleep. Toddlers might start stalling as soon as you start with your bedtime routine, or worse, you experience real sleep resistance and bedtime battles with tears.
The older the baby, the longer awake window they can handle. If the wake time between last nap and bedtime is not long enough, your little one won't be tired enough to sleep in the evening. You will then have to delay bedtime.
Sometimes they will also wake up shortly after falling asleep, usually after 40-60 minutes. These are so-called false starts. Babies wake after the first sleep cycle and have trouble falling asleep because of low sleep pressure.
They can also experience split nights. They wake in the middle of the night and seem wide awake. They might stay up for 40 minutes to 2 hours until they drift back to sleep.
If you are experiencing any of these sleep challenges, it might be worth considering reducing daytime sleep.
Your infant has still daytime and nighttime confusion
Newborn sleep is usually all over the place at the beginning. They might sleep all day long and stay awake at night. That's because newborn babies cannot differentiate between day and night, and this is probably the first sleep challenge new parents have to face.
After around two months, babies usually start to develop regular sleep patterns. Their natural circadian rhythm, the inner 24-hour wake-sleep cycle, starts to settle in. Usually, daytime sleep will naturally begin to decrease. While newborns are barely awake, young infants can now stay awake for 40-60 minutes.
However, if after 2-3 months, your little one still stays up at night, it is a good idea to keep an eye on daytime sleep. You can start with a flexible sleep schedule to create more regulated nap times.
Additionally, expose them to a lot of light and stimulation during the day and keep it quiet and dark at night to help them regulate day and night.
They only cat nap and don't have at least one long nap
Cat napping is part of normal baby sleep behavior. Especially during the first few months, it is not uncommon for babies to regularly have a short nap. In older babies, this sleeping behavior usually resolves itself at 8-9 months.
But short naps can be really frustrating. There is not much you can get done during a 30 minute nap. So maybe you want to aim for at least one long daytime nap during the day.
If the awake time between naps is not appropriate, your little one will not be able to sleep for a longer nap. So sometimes, we see that one nap can have an effect on the following nap. For example, a morning nap that is too long can affect the lunch nap. Your baby might only sleep for a little after lunch.
For me personally, the lunch nap was always holy. I needed that 2 hours of quiet time midday to regain some of my energy. So I would always cut the morning nap short to ensure it wouldn't negatively affect our lunch nap.
You're planning a nap transition
Nap transitions usually occur between 6-8 months (3 to 2 naps), 12-14 months (2 to 1 nap), and 2 1/2 - 3 years (1 to 0 naps). But before your little one finally drops a nap, you will see certain signs that a nap transition is coming.
Usually, they will show some nap resistance, or they will take longer to fall asleep. You can read more about the typical signs in this article.
Dropping a nap will be easier when it is a gradual process. Slowly decreasing the sleep duration will help your little one get used to a shorter nap already and to a longer wake window until it's time to sleep again.
You can start to shorten the nap by waking them 5-10 minutes earlier every couple of days. Here you can also read about how to make nap transitions easier for your child.
How to wake a sleeping baby
Waking a sleeping baby can be tricky. Sometimes they will wake up grumpy, and it takes some time until they are back to their old selves.
Whenever you wake a baby, try to make it as natural as possible. Change the environment, so they slowly wake up by themselves. You can slowly open the blinds or turn down the volume of your white noise machine. You can also gently stroke them. Waking them too abruptly or rapidly can make them feel disoriented.
Sometimes it feels strange to wake a sleeping child. On the one hand, you want that break you really deserve. On the other hand, they just look so happy and peaceful when sleeping and it feels mean to wake them.
But as you can see, there are several situations where waking a baby from their nap is reasonable. There is nothing bad about waking a sleeping baby.
But it is also not something you have to do. Some babies sleep whenever they want and as long as they want, and it works for their family. But in some other families, it can lead to a new sleep problem. Every family is different, and you will feel instinctively what works best for your individual situation.
